Almost There...Almost Summer.

I don't even know where to begin. This past year has been a huge experience. Being able to fly free from everything. Like..actually being able to by myself. Taking care of myself and my schooling. It's been such an amazing step from being homeschooled and I'm enjoying it so much. There were many struggles along the way. The struggle of trying to stay on top when I'm barely capable because I'm interested in having fun instead. But the struggles are almost over for this year..Just one more hard quarter left for this school year. I'm now at the point of realizing what I have upon me in the future. I've said in my blog that I've been scared for many things, but honestly this is beyond scary. I can't imagine my future anymore. That big, bright dream that I've tried to imagine has been dented. I'm not sure why. Am I scared for the future? Hmm. Spring quarter's gonna be a tough end for this year. Somehow I feel like I'll be so isolated from many people..but I guess that's ok. Since I have so much time in the future. My mind keeps telling me to just stay home and work instead of go out or stay home and play. It keeps reminding me that I have so much to do and that I need to accomplish it. That I don't want to meet up with anyone, see anyone, etc. Haha, sad right? I've turned out to be weird. No, I'm not a nerd. It's just..for now. I have weird feelings that I've never experienced before. ODD... But out of all this, I need to keep my focus on God. I've been straying. I'll admit that. A lot. I haven't been doing things right, and I..honestly hate it. I feel like I can't move right now. Like..God's trying to hold me down and remind me to talk to him, get to know him, and share everything with him. Seriously, where have I been all this time?! Just..blinded by so many activities and honestly by relationships. oh....goodbye.