第一次

Summer's almost gone. Fall's almost here. School's almost starting, and it's the first time I feel like I'm not ready for school to start again.

For the past summers, I've always got sick and tired of summer and wanted school to start quickly. I've never felt this "not wanting" to go to school so badly. It's a first.

For the first time, I feel so alone. But even as I feel alone, I don't want school to start. This upcoming year...I don't know how I'll survive.

Home alone........it always seems so quiet at home. Like.....no one's around. Do I miss my friends? Of course I do....except, what can I do? They're not around.

It truely is the first time I've felt like this. There really aren't any words that can describe what I'm feeling.

It's the first time that:

• I've wanted to attend MIHS instead of homeschool
• Had such a lonely summer yet I don't wanna go back to school
• I've gone through so much in one single year
• I've had so many arguements with my mom
• I've lied so many times to my parents. -- I'll admit that
• I've snuck out so many times --that too
• My parents hardly know anything
• I think I'm stupid
• I've stayed up so late for almost a year--Got so little sleep
• I feel like the friends I've made through homeschooling mean nothing to me
• I'm asking myself what in the world I'm doing
• I've thought about how the world keeps going even though I stop
• I've actually thought about love for one whole year
• I don't know what I'm feeling except that I'm really confused

It's the first time............