Trickle Trickle...Splash

A story about last night.

It was raining, and it was dark. I wanted to go out for a walk. I sat on my upper bunk watching as the computer screen throbbed. Music ran through my ears and my brain went, "What's wrong with you heather?"

Blocked from the outside world. I sat next to my window for just around 5 minutes to see a small figure on four legs walk past. Freaked out, I stared at it. It turned out to be a cat in the end. From that incident, I no longer had the mindset of, "I'm going to go out for a walk." But instead, it was: "I wanna go out for a walk, but I'm too scared to." I shouldn't have been scared. I knew that God was with me. Being scared like that just showed how much I trusted him to keep me safe.

Roaming inside feelings. My eyes were fixed onto the toolbar on my computer screen waiting for a certain window to flash. Unfortunately, it never happened. "click click click click click" my mouse went. All the windows were the same. I've clicked them a million times already. I just can't manage to get off and fall asleep until I get a reply. (or, he signs off that is.) My heart throbbed as I lay in bed. Dripping raindrops from outside were heard from where I was sitting. Occasionally a sudden sound would make me jerk my head up to look out the window just to see that nothing was waiting for me there anymore. Oh yes, I longed for a moment. Just. A. Moment. But it would never happen....or so I think/thought.

4:30am. My eyes flickered.....and all went dark.

11:30am. It was still raining and nothing had moved. Again, I was in front of the computer listening to its engine buzz. When I got on, he was already online. One hour passed, then two....no reply. And now, he's probably off to camp.

Wanting to tell. I really wanna tell him something. Something that's not worth telling him online or through the phone. I wanna tell him before I tell some of my other friends, but I don't know how. It seems like we'll never meet again. Just gotta wait for the right time Heather....just gotta wait.