Another Broken Relationship

This is a really late post about one of my girl friends. I'm sad to see how our relationship is right now. It's a really long story, so bear with me.

I don't remember how I met her. I think I met her a year ago at a concert because she was in choir. We actually bonded really well. This year, we've gotten even 'closer'. Until a point where we eventually drifted off. This drama somewhat includes our parents.

It all goes WAYYY back to tolo....Spring tolo. You see, I really wanted to go (the reason for it, that's a different story.) My parents, being them, didn't want me to go. They told me that they didn't want me to get temptations. Of course, I didn't think that I WOULD get tempted or anything, and still wanted to go. So my friends mom called my mom asking my mom if I could sleep over and also go to the dance. Not knowing that it would turn into a disaster, I agreed to her calling my mom and talking to her.

During the conversation, hurtful things appeared. My friends mom would ask things like, "Do you not trust heather enough to even let her go to the dance? I trust my daughter, and so I let her go" They say they are Christians. But through many trials with her, I began to doubt. But I'm not the one to judge this, so I won't.

I ended up asking my mom if I could just go to the before party. She said yes, if I finished my work, but being the procrastinator I am, haha, I didn't finish. My friends were bummed I couldn't go, but many understood, except for her. I tried explaining, but there was no way she could relate to me. Afterall, her family isn't Asian. They don't have the same culture as we do nor the same values.

My parents left for Toronto soon after the day of Tolo. The reason? My grandpa passed away suddenly and no other relative was close enough to go straight there. During a couple of those days, I went to MIHS to hang out with a couple of my friends. During this one day, this girl friend of mine told me that she had a Jazz Choir audition and that she was totally not ready for it. I helped her practice during lunch. She was going to do fine and just had to work on her cromatic scale, but once we walked out of the door, she threw her music into a bin that labeled "recycling". Turning toward me, she said, "I'm not going to make it. Maybe I shouldn't even try. I can't even do the stupid scale." I knew she had a chance. Her singing was great. I had no other choice, but to stop in front of her road and make her pick her piece of music back up.

After school, she wanted to drop by her house before doing the audition to practice. Her mom was waiting for us outside. As I approached, her mom told my friend that she didn't want me going to their house because I had to tell my parents. I told my sister already, and there was no way I would make a long distance call to Toronto just to ask my parents if I could go over to their house for 15 minutes.

Her mother started talking to me during the car rides and all the other times I was with her. It bothered me, not because she was talking to me, but because of what she was saying to me. She said things such as

"Heather, I'm trying to understand your mom right now. I don't get why she has to restrict you so much. I feel really sorry for you."

or,

"I've never seen a mom restrict her child so much like your mom does."

or,

"Oh? You're going to BC? I heard that there were a bunch of home schooled kids there. I heard that they were really sheltered." (Ok, so what is she trying to say here? Is she saying that I'm sheltered? Oh yes, I really didn't appreciate that.)

"Heather! You're wearing really cute clothes, but come here."

I go over there, and she says, "but I can't imagine your mom letting you wear these clothes. She doesn't even let you go to dances."

Woahhh, that just blew my alarm. How can she say these things to me? Especially since I hardly know her? *sigh, I tried to keep calm and be patient just to make things not worse. Inside of me, I hated her guts.

A couple days later, my relationship with my friend just went down the drain. It started the week of Matt Brouwer. The original plan was to go to school, go to her house to hang out before Matt Brouwer, and then come to my house for my stuff, and then leave. The day before, she told me, "I don't think you can come to my house anymore. I have a doctors appt." I knew that it wasn't the case. I knew that there was another reason for me not going to her house. And then she added, "Oh, and can my mom just drive me there and we'll meet you there?" That made everything obvious. They didn't want her to hang out with me.

Later, she backed out of the whole entire plan. She ended up not coming. Yes, it made me mad. How could it not?

At school a couple days later, we talked about what happened. She kept saying sorry to me, and asking if I were mad. Did she have to say sorry so many times? I don't think so. It just made me even more mad. But the couple sentences she said to me that just made me burn with hatred was, "You don't even know my mom at all. When she said those things to you, she didn't mean it in that way. But I don't regret my mom saying that stuff to you, cause I don't think she's wrong." The last sentence really blew me off. And from there, our relationship produced a huge gap.

Now, we're fine. Just not as good as before, but I don't mind. Sometimes I really wish none of this happened, but I really can't help what others say to me. I can only control what I say to others. Hopefully, I managed to keep a calm front.