Home-Sometimes Not What You Imagine

Sometimes home is not what you imagine. Everywhere you go there's walls. Sometimes there's people around, and sometimes..you're just alone. But when everyone's gathered, it becomes an argument. Mouths start chattering with words falling out..eyes start closing as tears drip out, and hands start shaking as you bring them up to wipe your face.

People say that everything can be solved. In a situation, nothing is impossible to solve in a family. And since we're all brothers and sisters, then there's no problem right?

These couple days have been such a drag. Yelling back and forth, emotions going up and down, not knowing if I should turn right of left, not knowing if what I want to do is the right thing to do. I really can't describe how much I want everything to be over. I just wanna run far far away. I wanna run wherever the wind takes me. When I was young, my aunts and uncles used to tell me that I was so light, the wind could blow me away. I wish that were true. I wish I was a feather, and that I could go anywhere the wind blew me towards. Wishful thinking huh?

It's like wanting a fairytale to be true. Though what is true..is that it'll never come true. After living for 15 years..almost 16, I feel like half of it was a waste. My heart is scattered in so many different places right now. On the street-waiting to be run over, In t he soil-waiting to be trampled over, and On the shore-waiting to be washed away. How can I gather them up again? It's like gathering all the feathers from a pillow that you ripped as they blow away. You don't know where they've gone. They could have been blown half way across the world. You just can't gather all the blown away feathers again.

Problems that can be solved, where are you? The ones that love, where are you? The ones that CARE, where are you? The ones that don't argue over the stupidest reasons, where are you? The ones that have a love for God and not materials, where are you? The ones that have a love for each other, where are you? The ones that shine the glory of God, where are you?

The ones that bring the swayed ones back on track, where are you? The ones that share the gospel where are you?

I'm pretty sure that another long week is coming up. I'll just have to get through it like I usually do. Lets boost up the prayers and the devos.