The Story Of A Mother's Day Weekend

So this past week I've been so occupied with this and that that I feel like I have no more time to think. Now that it's been a week and a half, everything's beginning to just bundle up in my head. It makes me stressed to think about so many things at once. With everything flying at me, and with all the answers hidden, what am I supposed to do? Where can I find those hidden answers? I don't have the time to search for the little Easter egg that contains all the answers.

I haven't been writing much lately. Nothing's been really put onto my mind. Nothing special has been placed in my heart. At least just yet. I'm not gonna lie..I've been procrastinating on everything lately. You name it. You'd probably be right. Sometimes, I wish I could just make things up. I wish that my life was a dream. You never die in dreams, but in reality, you can die. Many times--obviously not literally.

Just a few days ago, I made my mother mad. Yeah, it was mothers day. No... actually, it started on Saturday. I was supposed to do Kelley's hair for her recital that day and then finish up some homework so that I could go watch Iron Man 2. Nope. Didn't work. In the car, I made my mother mad. I just wasn't in a good mood, but in all cases, I wanted to get out. She started going off about an essay that was supposedly due this Thursday. She had told me that I was to finish it this weekend--and knowing me, I procrastinated...and also thought that she meant Sunday. Everything turned wrong in an instant. It's surprising how fast the light of rage could just start to flicker. Doesn't take much apparently. Especially when it's me who makes her mad.

So long story short, she didn't let me go. Or in other words, I didn't get my way. We ended up in a huge fight and half of mothers day was basically ruined. I didn't go to church that morning. I had to teach/sub, but I ended up asking someone else to do it for me. Oh yeah. I felt so bad about that. I still do. Getting asked to sub for someone and saying yes, but in the end asking another person to sub? I felt bad. It's alright though, everything's over with and it worked out.

In the end, we went out for dinner--the whole family-- and then went home to watch a movie after eating the cheesecake that I bought my mother. We didn't talk about the incident after that.

I've got to mend my ways. Everything I do is always so badly thought out. Some things that I knew would happen before hand..but I still do it. It bothers me so much. This character inside my body. It controls me and I want to change it. I WANT to change. Into a new person perhaps? I want to mend my ways. It's always so frustrating when everything doesn't go my way. But I guess life isn't about me. Nothing revolves around me. It's just..me and well, others.

*sigh* so much to do and yet I'm still online. Homework due tomorrow that I haven't finished, and yet I'm still online....ahh, I better go.